My third week of work.. Starting to be more comfortable with the work which is super fast paced!!
Even walking also has to be fast in the office! More at ease with colleagues and they are really funny at times.
Realize that when u realy don't hv much time, one really need to be super flexible, like blogging on my way back like now-.- if not there is forever no time to do a particular task! Tsk.. Opportunities of seed-sowing and caring for people is also AT THAT POINT IN TIME. I can't plan a free slot becoz there isn't luxury of time . But when the prompting comes, just go ahead and do it and I wouldn't feel like there's so many things I haven't do. Super out of comfort zone but yup learning learning.. I reach pasir ris mrt alr.. Yeah woohoo

It's just so scary and tiring just to think of what's not done and has to be done...
Days that u just depended on yourself and felt so depressed that you just can't wait to go heaven.
Father Lord let me find rest in You.. The living water that refresh me.
Give me the joy that I need to continue to serve you each day, living in your promises.

Having the confidence that your grace is sufficient, more than sufficient for me.

Thank you God for ur faithfulness.
I've forgiven:)
let me be recouncile to you

The test is painful but it truly shows how great u are in my life.
People may think I'm illogical but I think I hv found the joy in you amidst pain.

Clarice jiayou!
:)

I wish I could just fast-forward time and stop emoing.
Moments like these are so unbearable:'(

alright sleep sleep sleep.

My God help me in my distress!!

Withdrawal symptoms kicks in.
at different times of the day.
Coincidentally , saw my crusade frens and they ask abt him. I just told them we are not togt alr.
Awkward. I have to laugh it off.

Luckily God is gracious to me to keep my mind occupied during this time i got a job to look forward to. Think i can work 12 hours a day.. no problem. Just soak myself in the pool of work. Quite excited actually. I still left a medical check up to clear.
My boss ask me to get an english name for easy identification in my job.
My mum suggested Mary. hmmm... Mary Koe?
Suddenly just so glad that my mum didn't manage to sabo me when i was young. Must really thank my dad for this.
(No offense to all the existing Mary...Your mum still loves you loads!! :x)

How about.....
Crunchy Koe ???
haha.

Re-posting this again... a reminder for me.

Relationship dialectics

1) Autonomy/connection- desires to be separate , on the one hand and to be connected, on the other, opposition of which creates tension. Because we want to be deeply linked to others, we cherish spending time with our intimates, sharing experiences and feeling connected. At the same time , each of us needs an independent identity. We don't want relationships to swallow our individuality, so we seek distance, even from our intimates.

2) Novelty/predictability-opposition of the desire for familiar routines and desire for novelty. We like a certain amount of routine to provide security and predictability in
our lives. Yet too much routine is boring so we seek novel experience to introduce variety in customary routine.

3) Openness/closeness-desires for openness in tension with the desire for privacy. While being open and honest is desired, complete openness would be intolerable.

--Communication Mosaics


Anyway.... this sat
specs? fan tree? screaming hi-5 ? or heart?
Better read up more man!!

Thank God for the encouragement and support of awesome family and friends during this period. Even my sister called me to cheer me up ( I can't believe this!!!). Not that my sis is mean/bad but it's super very not her to do that.
Without all of u, i will be down down down down.

Fall out of love, jobless , aimless , in debt.
All happen at once.
Sleep in tears , wake up in tears , interview with tears.

Thank God for ur providence, grace and faithfulness.
:)

i know u have and will continue to see me through it all.

Love,
crunchy<3