Back from metamorphosis camp,

One thing that struck me greatly was the Street Evangelism. I always limit Street E to just Street E, well i think God really help me to fine-tune that and opened up my eyes.

We were having street E.
Est and i were walking to this ulu void deck in commonwealth when we saw this 50 plus woman sitting alone. We went to approach her and intro ourselves. This woman knowing our intention to evangelise told us she's already a christian. But we still chatted a little while and find out some stuff,

She don't stay in commonwealth,in fact she took a bus having a large detour to this place which she never come before and sit at this void deck to 'stone', like a retreat away from home.
She shared that she has to take care of her sick husband at home, which she feel weary.
She is always the one who show concern for other people around but people don't really ask about her. She said that she prayed that there will be people to encourage her becoz she feels like giving up but at the same time she can't coz she knows her family members (all prebelievers) will see her as a testimony of her faith so she has to persevere.

We prayed for her and she keep thanking us repeatedly, and i really think even though what we could do was limited, just a short prayer and a listening ear to her ramble of all her frustration and weariness. But can see she really have heartfelt thanks for God at that time when she was feeling low by sending people to encourage her and that answer her prayers, when actually est and me really anyhow walk without any destination in point then spotted her.
The next day she text me and est, thanking us and calling us angels whom passed by.
I also thank God for bringing her to us.

I'm usually skeptical when people readily receive christ. But sometimes the harvest may really just be ready for u to go one step further to assist them to declare their faith as the seeds were sown long time and it's just time for harvest. Two Ah ma were sitting at the void deck, both of them said they aren't christians but their kids are and they brought them to church. They also know jesus is good and stuff but they have their own gods. But when est ask them if they wanna receive Christ, they weren't resistent to it at all. One ah ma commented, "but i dunno how to receive christ, i dunno how to read or say angmoh'. then we go thru the sinners' prayer with them the chinese version and they repeated after us.

They keep thanking us again after that and i ask one ah ma to tell her son she alr accepted christ,go church and don't worship any more other gods already because there's only one real God- Jesus Christ. She nod her head and thank us again.

Before this two ah mas , we have approached 3 ah mas and 1 ah gong who said their kids were also christians but they strongly refused to be christians due to their own gods they have been worshipping for XX years and was furious when we want to tell them about jesus.

My skepticism really decreases ALOT when i met the last 2 ah mas who accepted christ so readily.

Then we met one guy who was on his way home.. who was a christian when he was a teen but backslided when he was sentenced to 10-years imprisonment as he took drugs.He was bitter, jobless, divorced, and even his own son applied for Protection Order so that he cannot come near them when he went to visit his son. He ask us if God really loves him, where is He when he needed Him..
My heart really sink, sank sunk when someone so hurt keep questioning if God really loves him...
U can't outwin him in debates so the best way to end it off is prayer.
Surprisingly, he readily wanted the prayer.
Like despite of so much accuses he had for God, deeply inside u can feel he still desperately wanted to go back to God again.
Dunno how is he now and i doubt i will ever see him again, as he doesn't even have a phone but pray that the lord will continue to speak to him as he opens up his heart for healing to take place.

There's always this thought when u go out for street E: when u have to choose and eliminate people to speak to (evanglise) due to limited time constraint. Deep down, I know if I can I will gladly just use a loudhailer to proclaim the good news to EVERYONE, but of course it doesn't work this way and will definitely backfire.Street E doesn't stop here, it continues even when i'm 'off-duty'

If priority is not wrong i guess this will remind me,
We are christians working undercover as students not students who happen to be christians.

2009 is going to be over. It was a tough year i must say.
But i'm really thankful for God and His people who are great encouragers & challengers.

Psalm 40:5 Many, O LORD my God,
are the wonders you have done.
The things you planned for us
no one can recount to you;
were I to speak and tell of them,
they would be too many to declare.

sidetrack a bit results are out,
phew thank God..LEVEL CLEARED! :)

Happy 2010!
-------------------------------------------------
Janice and her partner durning street E...

Jan's partner: what new year resolution do you have for 2010?
Thin Guy: slim down
Jan's partner: huh why? but u are already very slim
Thin Guy look up and down at jan's partner: well different people different expectations.

If u really care for the person and want to know his/her secret, not simply for kaypo's sake.
I guess even right now the secret should be well-guarded and not spreading around.
Not refering to those secrets like 'i just murdered somebody' or 'i took drugs dunno what to do now' which definitely needs immediate attention.
But those seemingly trivial stuff u know can have a negative impact which doesn't eddify when spread around w/o the person's consent simply all in the name of fun.
If one can't even keep others' secret, what's this thing about self-control or even trust

PUI..

merry christmas.
got so much things to update, dunno where to start from but yep i'm back from youth camp and khon kaen!

great people great food great reminders great encounters great love experienced
from simple events and things.


Some quotes/reminders here & there..
"we are little but we have great visions for the people here"--Aunty WK
"don't ask how we can gain access to the prisons,rehab,slums... God opens the way"
--Aunty WK
"don't pray that programs will run smoothly but rather our faith will be strengthen through all these"--Jere & Zing
"be ready for unexpected situations. what if pauline or jeremiah is not here..." --Jun
"God isn't for efficiency like how singaporeans pride themselves on but efficacy"--Jere
"they are just like normal kids who yearn for love" --Aussie refering to the HIV-positive kids
"I will be obedient to God"-- written by Evan the missionary at the back of his bible in his secondary school days

poor memory.. cannot remember exactly what they said but roughly the gist is there. I probably forgotten alot more which i wanted to add in as precious reminders i want to hold on to...

Not to forget those images..

-the airplane view of agriculture fields (size of legos) which reminds me of God's faithfulness & his love for so many people from other ends of the earth which i do not know of and reminds me of Pastor Glen's sermon of the macro-ness of his creation and micro-ness of us.
-slums which i didn't realize are slums. i seriously thought they are just shelters
-the little gal from slum who hold on to the NERDS sweet which i pour out in her dirty palm tightly,eating only one at a time,savouring it slowly.
-the beautiful & big field with cow dung embedded here and there(the harvest are plenty but the workers are few)
-the australian who give the HIV positive kid a great big nice HUG, one of the warmest hug i've seen (not the patronising kind)
-those rough, uncouth and tatooed prisoners who stood up to receive Christ readily
-thais youth christians praying for us which sounds like tongue. Don't understand them but could clearly felt the Holy Spirit as they prayed as we serve the same God
-those smiles, sawadee :)

i can forget anything but not God's faithfulness!

The inability to communicate your thoughts (my thoughts are messy like the icons on my laptop desktop!) can really be frustrating at times when
people dunno what u are talking about and who can u blame but yourself.

Thankfully at the end of the day, when u are just all alone.
Prayer to God is so at ease because every word can just come right from the bottom of your heart. No prayer template is needed in order to achieve 'effective communication' with God. It doesn't matter at this moment whether my problems are solved anot or still in the pending process. But i know right at this moment just to dwell in His presence is all that's enough.

No worries about sentence structure, grammatical errors or how shallow my worries and thoughts are, just the thought of it is *phew~ enough. :)

YOUTH CAMP TMR..;)
may the good Lord bless each and every single camper.
Good rest everyone!

A Life Revealed--National geographic
Her eyes have captivated the world since she appeared on our cover in 1985. Now we can tell her story.
By Cathy Newman
Photograph by Steve McCurry


Totally besotted with her eyes man.
make me that pair of contact lens!!...

ok that's not the point.

["Time and hardship have erased her youth. Her skin looks like leather. The geometry of her jaw has softened. The eyes still glare; that has not softened. "She's had a hard life," said McCurry.So many here share her story." Consider the numbers. Twenty-three years of war, 1.5 million killed, 3.5 million refugees: This is the story of Afghanistan in the past quarter century.

Now, consider this photograph of a young girl with sea green eyes. Her eyes challenge ours. Most of all, they disturb. We cannot turn away.

... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ...

Such knife-thin odds. That she would be alive. That she could be found. That she could endure such loss. Surely, in the face of such bitterness the spirit could atrophy. How, she was asked, had she survived?

The answer came wrapped in unshakable certitude.

"It was," said Sharbat Gula, "the will of God." ]

what's unshakable certitude?
i dunno which God she refering to and most prob not the one that i know of.
But well, think we are TOO BLESSED to just imagine others' hardship when we are so absorbed in ours. Give me their kind of hardship now, i will just breakdown immediately.
But i too want that kind of unshakable certitude when people ask of the God that i know of, not dependent on situations... it's hard but definitely not impossible with that God of ours we know of.

A random post probably due to me having an exam like really soon and i'm still not sleeping..and i'm not exactly mugging coz my laptop is in front!


today i saw many 'safari-themed' clothes after mugging.
quite sensitive to all the stripes and animal printed apparels.
It just reminds me of THANKSGIVING THANKSGIVING THANKSGIVING!
jan still ask me dress up as a zoo-keeper when i told her the theme, but i still dun quite get it.. what's the link between zoo-keeper & safari?
Then i realize ya there's a link if it's NIGHT SAFARI!

bonitochico didn't send me any mail, i was just a few minutes late and my platform shoes are gone!..& backorders will be too late
but how to rush when u are buying stuff online?
but still better than choosing module in NTU.. u really need to 'F5' non-stop
and the system will hang.

And i hate chemistry but i got to love it man.
Be of good stewards of whatever i'm given and i got no reason to complain-
Well i CHOOSE it three years back.

my last paper will be on friday morning.. my fren was still happily talking abt the plans after exams but i just.... Guess mission trip still left alot stuff undone, actually should be ALOT stuff not done yet. just the thought of it seems overwhelming because DEAD-line is just SO near and youth camp is just next week.

But think will enjoy planning with the mission team anyway since all of them i'm quite comfortable with and they are so funny. So no worries and ask for Lord's guidance.

things left undone that requires IMMEDIATE action this dec:

1)cut & dye hair
2)change phone, anything just to replace that army phone i'm having now
3)mission plan draft 2 for aunty wai kheng to see
4)clean up my room
5)watch my recorded shows in smartTV left rotting for eons
6)prepare cell word for this sun
7)movies,shopping,on-line dramas,buffets,exercise (weird to place buffet&exercise side by side but wells...)
8)meet-ups & stayovers!(ma-mui is back!)

Well 3am now le! i got a paper @ 9am.
I'm like dead tired and HYPER now! .. can like jog around 10 rounds NTU
ya in my dreams
Alright God Bless little miss eye-bag!

PS: i gotta adjust the time shown in blog, it's just not accurate ..

when i say this taiwanese singer is worth my attention,
i am like really assured i don't judge someone by his/her look!



---------------------------------------------------------------------------------

"I believe in the sun even when it's not shining
I believe in love where feeling is not.
I believe in God even if he is silent."

-Inscription on the walls of a cellar in Cologne, Germany,
where Jews hid from the Nazis

this doesn't seems like a joke
-.-"

---------------------------------------------------------------------------------



????????????????????????????







result from google autocomplete

LOL

anti-MJC sidegate turnstille production: the scripting is creativeee lar ... lol

and again and again and again and again and again and again and again...



ARGGGHHHHH!!!
scary!!

chanced upon this article, a timely reminder about motives again:
http://www.rbc.org/bible-study/been-thinking-about/2008/04/01/column.aspx

Motives and faith

Jesus talked a lot about motives. His approach, however, was to help us focus on our own hearts before going after the faults of others. Because of our inclination to do the right things for the wrong reasons, He told His disciples not to let their left hand know when their right hand was giving to the poor (Matthew 6:3-4). He also said that when they prayed they should do so in secret rather than making a self-serving public display of their spirituality (vv.6, 18).

If we are not careful, we can do some of the best things for the worst reasons. Our purposes combine with what we believe and do to shape the character of our faith, our love, and our laughter. They fuel blind ambition and feed bitter envy. They determine whether we use the knowledge of the Bible to help others, or to control, condemn, and con them out of their money.

Bad motives can put honorable actions to shame just as good motives can turn even the most menial task into something noble.....
----------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Jeremiah 17:9-10

The heart is deceitful above all things
and beyond cure.
Who can understand it?
I the LORD search the heart
and examine the mind,
to reward a man according to his conduct,
according to what his deeds deserve.

Dwight: Jim is my enemy. But it turns out Jim is also his own worst enemy. And the enemy of my enemy is my friend. So Jim is actually my friend.

-.-"

A RAT just 'jogged' over my laptop adaptor cable @ superdog...
howhowhow
i know it's bimbotic but should i disinfect the wires??

GROSS!

"XXX says:
u know what
i have been wanting to say this
i know you mean well
i know u really hope that im well too
i didnt tried to restrain it if u thought i had.
but there's also a reason why i did not become a christian.
crunch- says:
?
XXX says:
simply, i don't agree to all the stuffs that i read and even after reading the link that u gave just now too.ya and i hope being honest wont change things.
but i must say this after u really go church often.. u become a happier person. and i'm glad for what u have become too
crunch- says:
yep i definitely hope the same for you too and sorry for not being a fren that's always by ur side and i meant that too really "

---------------------------------------------------------------------------------

i meant that REALLY coz i've known u for 7 years and really wish the best for u.
God bless u

Ever been in situations 'not here not there'?

like the fish bone stuck in your throat,
neither can u swallow down nor spit it out.
It just got stuck, stuuckk, stuuucccckk.

like u waited for an EMPTY bus @ NTU freaking long.
And A FEW buses just freakingly pass by with HORDES of people
and u walk halfway to the bus stop in front of that u were waiting
an empty bus comes by. You can't run in time in front or behind
u can only look at it.. passing by.
-------------------------------------

Whatever and whatsoever 'not here not there' situations encountered,nobody would wanna stay at that uncomfortable position for long i suppose.
i guess most importantly,
don't be a 'not here not there'-lukewarm christian
Keep the fire burning!
"I know your deeds, that you are neither cold nor hot. I wish you were either one or the other! So, because you are lukewarm—neither hot nor cold—I am about to spit you out of my mouth." Rev 3 :15-16

there goes my 'not here not there' random-to-the-max thoughts..

Wah really had a fruitful time studying
with BROTHER zing!(hahaha).
I managed to finish 2 chap without sleeping.. incredible FEAT!
I must continue with this pace man just to finish my revision.
Wahh really really really hard ...
i'm sure there's definitely an efficient and interesting way of studying that
can swiftly cut down on the time taken and the content revised really be locked in my memory. But i know that method will be too mind-stimulating dun think i wanna adopt. My battery life will be use up very fast.
So for now i will just stubbornly stick to that OLD method of rewriting notes for many hours without being sure of if the content is stuck in my mind.It just seems safer and stable, i mean after all i've been using that method for XX years...maybe only med chem cannot use that method,getting back a single digit result really humbles me like giving me 10 tight slaps on my cheeks. Tsk!...who says SU alr no need study... sianz!

First time i'm like really really really HAPPY to be called an auntie.
My sister is 2 months pregnant!!!
Awwwwww...but nobody in my family is like excited as me.
My dad is so excited that that he just 'orh' then sleep back after hearing the news.
-.-"... i hope he's just REALLY tired.

time flies.. really like nobody's business.
i'm still clueless abt many stuffs in life.
In the process of searching and giving back i guess.
God bless me.

I think i've grown up alr.

All thanks to God..
Guess alot of stuff doesn't affect me that much le.

Even if the circumstance is to become as bad as what i have thought to be.
I think i am READY to embrace it, for what's to come.

talk abt breakthrough man
tsk!


my Lord u are with me rite, always and forever?

based on what i've read in bible, He will reply enthusiastically like Jessie: YESSSSHH!

Oh lord ...
if every semester is like a crazy rat race,
then i will be wasting so much time and youth(gals age so much faster when stressed!)and missing
a whole LOT picture in this phase of my life.

but surprisingly i did see improvement in coping,
the controlling of my emotions and even the ever-increasing level of my 'threshold limit' (though i seriously dread that.. argghh).
guess that's character shaping aka pruning ar..,

AND all these are not possible without the LORD and all these are for a common good purpose!
I know i know...

my english sucks but let me 'rejoice while i'm suffering' for i shall see the light soon! yeaaahhh...


Because of the Lord's great love we are not consumed, for his compassions never fail.
They are new every morning;
great is your faithfulness.
-lamentations 3:22-23

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------
according to edmund and ann chan,
there are 15 spiritual disiplines:
1) Solitude
2) Prayer
3) Fasting
4) Quiet mediation
5) Silence
6) Praise
7) Chastity
8) Confession
9) Obedience
10) Journalling
11) Scripture Memorizing
12) Scripture
13) Sharing Christ
14) Service
15) Sacrifice

Not saying the rest are easy, but among all journaling seems to be really hard.
Unless u count E-journal aka this shallow blog as journaling? lol.
But the most challenging disiplines are still quiet meditation and silence.
yah really tough if u are the talk/think randomly non-stop kind of person... well hence the reason why they are called disciplines coz it juz doesn't come NATURALLY..

but spiritual disciplines are sooooo impt, they formed the foundation for us to recognise the way out that God has provided us to stand up under it since
temptations to sin come naturally like gravitational pull.

"So if u think u are standing firm, be careful that u don't fall. No temptations has seized u except what is common to man. And God is faithful, He will not let u be tempted beyond what u can bear. But when u are tempted, He will also provide a way out so that u can stand up under it." 1 cor 10:12-13

Like this pic mannn... look like it's my birthday!
...i looked HIGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH
hahaaa
It was YY's 21st birthday... she was like soooooo sexaeeeee with the bareback and salsa dance.



and I'm spastic.. all thanks to shi hui.
really feel like strangling her at times!


and i'm so GLAD I 'SU' medicinal chem...
best choice

Love is sometimes crazily blind.

I told jessie if one day i turn blind,
i ask her to splash water on me, scold me
and if need be just go ahead and bite me..

She typed back 'YESSS!!!'


...(0.0")


i can't help but feel the enthusiasm in her.

haha

Just now
i lost my thumbdrive, not having hope i will find it again in NTU (since everybody loves free gift just look at the loooonnggg queue for goodie bags and u will know) but somebody saw and return to me.
thank God u are so nice

1 hour plus later, another person called me and said he found
my ezlink card. Great relief since my card has concession pass.
thank God u are really nice

i really dun deserve it since i keep losing stuffs..
and getting it back again.
i shld really just.. bang the wall

...have i reach my threshold?

2009 PSLE Maths Question

Jim bought some chocolates and gave half of it to Ken. Ken bought some sweets and gave half of it to Jim. Jim ate 12 sweets and Ken ate 18 chocolates. The ratio of Jim's sweets to chocolates became 1 : 7 and the ratio of Ken's sweets to chocolates became 1:4. How many sweets did Ken buy?. Ans: 68 sweets (5marks)

Jan challenged me to this.
Took ehem.. quite a super duper long time to solve with model drawing.
If i had this question during my PSLE, i will definitely skip this and be contented with just having 95/100 for maths.
Why make life so difficult for P6?
hai..i can only say i really pity the generations to come, the rat race will be crazier and crazier and CRAZZZIERRRR (get my point?)


But i like MacDonald's(hungry)reminder of prayer..

"... 'But if God is so good as you represent Him, and if he knows all that we need, and far better than we do ourselves, why should it be necessary to ask Him for anything?'

I answered, what if the main object in God's idea of prayer be the supplying of our great, endless need- The need of Himself..

Hunger may drive the runaway child home, and he may or may not be fed at once, but he NEEDs his mother more than his dinner. Communion with God is the one need of the soul beyond all needs...We must ask that we may receive : but that we should receive what we ask in respect of our lower needs, is not God's end in making us pray, for He could give us everything without that: to bring His child to his knee, God withholds that man may ask.
Blessed is the one who desires Him rather than what He gives." ---George MacDonald

He said to them, "When you pray, say:
'Father,
hallowed be your name,
your kingdom come.
Give us each day our daily bread.
Forgive us our sins,
for we also forgive everyone who sins against us.
And lead us not into temptation.' Luke11:2-4

hallowed-let ur name be regarded as holy.It's not so much a petition as it is an act of worship; the speaker,by his words, exalts the holiness of God

bread-emblematic here of all our physical needs -shelter, clothing,transportation,money,etc. It also underlines the basic uncertainty of our temporal life

--the expositor's Bible Commentary, p 947

haha video link from Jan.
Though wondergals parody is like so cliche but
AWwww... i miss MJ...


ok that's a lie.
but far as i can remb Ann Koh, Mrs Chin, & Vincent Ng all from maths department rocks man!
Suaning skills & the 'zhuai'ness certainly do make lectures more interesting.
not to forget, Karen Ng from econs department rocks too
haha

i'm like super duper FULL.
I can't sleep now.
The steamboat was fabulous and who would have known the Lees are just so generous (i know), they not only give 'freelunch' but free dinner literally as well.
thanks Mr&Mrs Lee!

Let's just mark this as one of the best days spent fellowshipping with micah-LEE just having BS sharing , cell word , prayer, watching tv, crapping ,burping,snatching each other's seats,eating,lying around doing nothing,whining, suaning each other ,relaxing & dropping-large-quantity-of-hair-carefreely.

Well, that's coz everybody will be really busy like... soon

Today i wore my jacket 'inside out' to NTU for so long and nobody tells me.
Sian and i found it out myself with the tag sticking out my back so prominently.
I bet people really laugh behind my back literally.
idiot.

Somebody shld really design a new brand of clothes series called "inside out". Everything from dress, shirt, trousers , pants, socks and jacket must have the tag sticking out labelled "inside out".Cool eh.

Was drifting away in lecture today.
Really had a HARD time just to focus back..
Tmr better not or i'll be really wasting my time.

Decided to run in the evening.
Saw my neighbour's dad at the lift going for a run as well.
While on the way,
He was still telling me how busy her daughter is at nus hostel.
Can feel he kinda miss his daughter since they used to run together.
Well i dun mind running with uncle la can 'soon bian' build relationship and evangelize rite? But apparently he doesn't want to run with me la i not his daughter also haha. mai gek kiang..


AWESOME evening sun!
It melts any hurdles ahead ;)

If any time u are feeling alone,
please remb u are not.

After hearing accounts of so many failed relationships,
(i'm quite sian of hearing actually)
these are like the repetitive 3 relationship killers

1) Non-stop 'revenge' (unforgiveness)
2) possessiveness of the other party-insecurity
3) unmet expectations

before one/both sian of quarrel/cold war then start looking for the 'grass on the greener side'

It seems to boil down to self-centeredness.
A relationship foundation not built upon Christ is.... tough

But how about those non-christian couples who are also happily together what...
well ... that's coz who are you that they want to share with u what they are facing

But how about those christian couples who also have so many problems..
well ... who says christians have no prob, its juz how they HANDLE them (very different really) and who says christians NATURALLY will build their relationship foundation on Christ. Alot in fact don't. They are GOOD christians individually but not a GOOD christian couple when together.

No horror movie can match to watching ur own relationship deteriorating to a standstill.
I will give it a rating of R(∞)-too disturbing that no age group can tahan

Thank God i'm single (and i'm still quite optimistic abt relationship) , u remind me of what i could be (the ugly side) ---from other people's experience when u was placed out of their equation of love.

But merciful Lord, may ur grace and blessings continue to be upon those couples to weather thru the storms and may they be aware of the need to have u in all aspects of their lives.

ok la some parts maybe not that true but well it's my blog

anyway..
i REALLY NO LIFE!
My life is revolving around lab report & unfinish work (SO MANY)that it freaks me to even think about it.

EFFICIENCY,PRIORITY & TIME-MANAGEMENT!

i got one of the lousiest stomach.

random but thank God for everything today.

Read this in tribune (NTU paper) today:

"Scenario 1:
Then there's the 'Farewell Syndrome'-where you've just said a very pleasant goodbye to someone you don't know very well. You begin walking away, and then u see him walking to the same bus stop as you , and you freak out. You'll have to make forced small talk, and the 'niceness' of the last meeting will be gone...
Solution: Go hide behind the nearest bush, and peer out at him like the creep you are.As soon as he get into the next bus, feel the tension dissipate, and leave the protection of your bush for the beautifully empty bus stop.

Scenario 2:
It's awful when someone you're speaking to is speaking too fast, or incoherently, or both. You don't want to look like a moron and keep shrieking "What?". So you nod and smile at frequent intervals, worrying that you're reacting inappropriately, or that what you just politely laughed at, was him telling u about his pet's death.
Solution: What you need is a distraction which ends the conversation. "

wah.. but scenario 1 solution really cannot make it!
I can think of better ones for the paper..
Ask me write for you, Tribune!
since you also allow brOkeN angMoh language in the paper
haha


Hai and i'm REALLY bored and i can sniff procrastination cominggg
LAB tmr..
pray everything goes smoothly, tolong tolong!

Who of you by worrying can add a single hour to his life?

Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own.There is a time for everything,and a season for every activity under heaven.For I know the plans I have for you," declares the LORD, "plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.But seek first his kingdom and his righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well.

(Matt6:34,Ecc 3:1,Jer 29:11,Matt 6:33)

See all these verses so often until i can memorize.
But the meaning is really really really... REALLY SO DEEP.
Connect even much deeper when linked, almost like a coherent reply but of coz there's also danger of linking anyhow!

Not just about conviction in believing, but..
Your thoughts that suck up every single day of ur life reveal them (worries) all & the crux : how u deal with them.
Still A lonnnngggg way to go...

During the retreat , Pastor Aaron talked abt NOT leaving out the 'mystery' part about God.

Sometimes i wonder why would i feel unnatural if i use words like Magnificent ,king,majestic that comes out of my mouth during prayer to describe God.
I thought previously perhaps i could not fully grasp the REAL meaning of the words which is why i'm not convicted to use those to describe God.

Well i admit sometimes I do have a perception of Holy God a tad too comfortable (buddy-buddy), too loving, merciful and nice (the daddy), SMART(from his creations which includes me haha), subconsciously leaving out in this case the majestic and mysterious part of God, so i won't feel a distance from Him when He's so high up there with that kind of title. Like sometimes selectively choosing ONLY SOME PARTS of the character of God that i want to focus on or feel comfortable to relate to. Making Him a tad too predictable so i could relate to him better or grasp a concept of God that is easier to understand.
Then i realize it seems like i'm MAKING a GOD i want or feel comfortable with which is definitely wrong; not holistic enough

Just like...
If Beatitudes treat me like their 'dad' which they always calls me that or a fren or someone they feel comfortable with, i'm definitely glad because we have a relationship built and they do not think of me as distant. However if they are TOO comfortable with me, joking overboard without showing the kind of respect for a cell leader , i will be angry as well.

Similarly for God, a certain kind of respect must be given as well, a respect that you would if u see a king.

Just like...

Ya you would definitely Not be late/sms-ing like nobody's business if u are meeting President.. but i find it alright if i'm late/smsing like nobody's business in a church service. Respect for God? hmm...

Then some others are the other way round, they focus too much on the majestic part of God, they leave out the part where God can be our fren where we can pour out our woes and share our joy with as well.

Well, always come back to the HOLY BIBLE again to have a HOLISTIC understanding (not view) of God's character.
WORD,WORD,WORD not WORK WORK WORK!
tsk..guilty

juz wanna ...

$@#$@%@#W%W$T$W%#WT$WTWTWEF$#$%WETFEFEW#R@#RE@#RCW#RWwowfiewh904t34u5-uw9wjurv9w
wjrf9wjf90w43jr9i4wrjvw9i4jk,rvw49jvw4p.wjv49irtj905j90235jr20j5r209jv029v2j90vj
j390vj59j5209j5209j5209j509j5v9j59v304j59034j65943vj9346j934j9324jq902cjex2903xj
E@##R#$RF$%T$#FErfewr3wr34r4tewrfw34rwrwrw34r3$R#$RT#$TF$RFRFRFR#Rr43r43f34wrfwf


...if there's such a word called 'cyber-tongue'



Today is Happy Children's Day. It's an OFFICIAL day (i declared!) to be children of the well-deserved DAD to whine to Him as well.

"Dear HeavenLY Father
I know i'm just so irritating coz i keep troubling u with the same stuff over and over again.
U want u can bite me but i dun think u would want to.
....
(content not disclosed )
....
You are so forgiving and patient but i dun want to take you for granted either.
I'll be less annoying i promise.
Continue with ur work in me! "

Love ya
One of your cutest, lovely, doted children whom u love SOOO MUCHHH,
QC

well... that kind of SUPER sian-ness hits again.

@#$@#%%%@...

because i LET MY THOUGHTS RUN WILD again.
u know those negative thoughts that can only occur only when u ALLOW (yes allow) them in when u start to entertain those thoughts. Particularly, the 'Let your feeling rule ur head' kind.
How destructive even just for that second.
sucks.

Very long nv had that FEELing
To think i allow the emo bubble lingering around me for a few hours before realizing it.
Make me emo over nothing
Realize it only when i burst it with my heavenly Father's reassuring WORDs (sWORD.. yes it pierce like sword as well) and the reminder Lord has alr helped me OVERCOME THIS PHASE
I hope next time i detect it earlier to correct my thoughts or DUN EVEN ENTERTAIN those thoughts at all by screaming JESUS's name out loud!

JJJJJEEESSSSSSUUUUUUSSSSSSSSSSSS!!!!!!!!!...
yep the louder the better ;)

Saw an old mtv in campus crusade today.
How non-christians see christians?
Apathetic? judgemental? like to hang out within themselves only?
how hard it is to be the christian shown in 4:00 to 4:14.. but not impossible

Does anybody hear her? -casting crowns

found some webbieee and share someee useful ones

Simpsonize yourself!
cuteeeeeee...(cute is a subjective word)
Upload ur pic to make a simpsons character
http://simpsonizeme.com/

Substitute head to dancee
http://sendables.jibjab.com/category/dances

Lazy Photoshop effects with a click.
http://www.befunky.com
http://www.instantizer.com/index.php/pictures/upload
http://bighugelabs.com/jigsaw.php
Quality of course can't be compared to trained photoshop skills
but it's convenientttt



and lastly secret 'recipe' of missionfest air ticket revealed
http://omatic.musicairport.com/

Today during bible study, jess was still asking can we remb our first love for GOD?
hmm.... i need to type down in case i forget

When i was still in jc, est brought me to CCR and the first sermon by Pastor Aaron struck a chord in my heart. I heard the things i wanted to hear and the questions i had before i came to CCR was partially addressed. The Word just have this special charm enough to lure me to come week after week to hear what was it store for me to learn.Never mind if i do not know anyone in church (AWKWARD-ness!) or est 'pang-seh'(haha) me and left me ALONE to eat lunch with this group of SUPER QUIET micah gals which i had problems communicating with and have nothing in common to talk. I know they ask me for lunch out of obligation and i feel out of place as well. I know it's definitely not friendship that makes me wanna come CCR. Perhaps socialising was in fact one of the barriers preventing me from coming to church at that time. I wish i could head home straight away after each service. But still i will come for the sermons and karen's cell because practically every week i REALLY learn stuff and i was super happy AT THAT TIME.

It was called 'first love'.

Ask me about homosexuality,cohabitation,premarital sex or related stuff before i met my 'first love', i will tell you i think it's definitely fine for me and even fine for me or others to practice it, not much of a big deal--People are free to choose what they want, why must be so CONTROLLING? Well that's what the world is preaching anyway, dun be a square.

Now different and how glad i am. I dunno how i found you but i'm glad i did... ay wait i think you are the one who make me found you and had it all planned out according to ur plan..so sweeeettt:)

Then after a few years, friendship made among Micah gals starts to deepen. The 'learning' which i had been looking forward every week has also gradually come to a bottleneck. This is definitely the case since the rate of what i'm learning now will be comparatively lesser to what i was learning then. I was challenged into taking up leadership position-cell leader. Responsibility and involvement in CCR increases. More distracions.. and more doings...

The desire to know God and His word decreases and i can feel it.
The 'passionate love' fades out...
Perhaps even the main reason for coming church was out of guilt or me having to fulfill cell leaders' role to facilitate and stuff. Not so much of a STRONG desire to hear about God's Word. OR maybe it was also complaceny like 'aiya, think i hear this sermon/topic alot of times alr' or maybe 'aiya i know this la, easy to preach but hard to apply to life what', or 'ay God i have this problem, can u help me solve this and that, reveal to me! all about ME ME AND ME'

Nothing related to becoz i want to know God.

It was another round of cries and prayer that brought about the revival in stagnant of walk in christ. Roller-coaster had a whole new meaning to me because it describe my spiritual life then.

After.... i dunno what i've been thru but somehow God has helped me but can't remb coz i never journal them down out of laziness and taking things for granted ( SEE! the characteristics of forgetful Israelites)

I realised it was another stage of love
i need constant self-reminders, prayers and realization of how unworthy i was and how much God has done all these years to love Him keeping in mind that my level of love can never ever match up with the love He had for me. Yes constant reminders; well coz we are still humans with sinful nature-- complaceny comes super duper easily like how a ball will still return to the ground no matter how high u throw in the sky becoz of gravity (eg.sin) Until the day it is brought out of earth into outer space (eg heaven) when there's no more gravity. (sigh physics...)
The relationships built all over the years with Him playing many roles in my life-Father,teacher,soulmate,encourager,companion.... gives me a heartfelt gratitude for Him

You know at the start (apply to gals more?) when u are in love u need the presence and the affirmative words of the other person to remind you that he loves you.. but as you know the person more and more and how much you all had been thru, you are very secure in the r/s with all the memories (hopefully more good ones than bad ones)

Miraculously God gives the security needed in the relationship even though i can't see Him physically as His Word and Holy Spirit has without fail time and again proven His love for all and has vouch for His own promises and character.
But its easy to be back to square one again if we turn complacent.
Always realign back to him and pour out all your woes and bitterness to Him and He will restore you.

i'm super tired now but suddenly just has this urge to type this super duper long entry and tmr is a super duper long day... may the good Lord sustain the super duper tired meeee..

Recess week le!
Awwww and i'm soooo not looking forward to it because there's string attached to it.
But better than nothing la 'mai hiam'... use my super duper shorrrtt time super supper WISELYYYY!
Last Youth Alpha session tmr ... JIA YOU!
ZZZZzzzzzzzzzzzz

Hahaha.. i hope i am not so PRO until to this kind of extent!

I dunno if that's the way it is.
Because i really dunno what is in store.
No direct instructions from human beings or God.

Should i just do something,
Or better still juz do nothing.

Maybe whatever the actions A,B,C,D,E,F,G ...
without the root reason recognized & tackled,
it doesn't matter anyway because eventually,
everything will still result in the same thing after all?

If u dun know how bad preparing lab report is...
well a picture speaks a thousand words..
here's 5000..

'happyitshere.com.sg' says that my estrogen is up these few days..
well..dun wave your chocolate in front of me.

Green-eyed monster: ROARRRR!

A song about humans' nature as its RAW-est form:

"Back when I was young
Couldn't wait to grow up
Get away and get out on my own
And looking back now
Ain't it funny how
I've been trying to get back home
Yeah
When my low self-esteem needs a man-loving me
And I find me a perfect catch
Then I see my friends having wild weekends
And I don't wanna be quite so attached
Just as soon as I get what I want
I get unsatisfied
Good is good, but could be better!

Chorus:
I keep looking, I keep looking for
I keep looking for something more
I always wonder what's on the other side
Of the number two door
I keep looking
Looking for something more

Well the straight-haired girls, they all want curls
And the brunettes wanna be blonde
It's your typical thing
You've got yin, you want yang
It just goes on and on
They say, "Hey! It's only human to never be satisfied."
Well I guess that I'm as human as the next one, oh

Chorus(x1)

(Instrumental)

Yaaaaaa......

(Instrumental)

Just as soon as I get what I want
I get unsatisfied
Hey,Good is good, but could be better!

Chorus (x1)

Oh,I'm looking for something more
(I keep looking, I keep looking,I keep looking)
Yeah
(Oh I keep looking, keep looking,I keep looking)
Hey yeah
(Oh I keep looking,I keep looking,I keep looking)
I'm just looking for something more..."

This song seems to describe XXX
This discontented person XXX who keeps looking (God knows what) will always 'seems' to be finding something/someone better since the grass is always greener on the other side. However, when the novelty wears off, back to square one, miserable than before.

low self-esteem unaddressed?? Anchor on the wrong source of hope??

Do you know what you are looking for... ?

I have been a wayward child,
I have acted out,
I have questioned sovereignty,
and had my share of doubts,

And though sometimes,
my prayers feel like their bouncing off the sky,
the hand that holds won't let me go,
and is the reason why

I will stumble, I will fall down
But I will not be moved
I will make mistakes, I will face heartache,
But I will not be moved

On Christ the solid rock I stand,
All other ground is sinking sand,
I will not be moved

Bitterness has plagued my heart,
many times before,
My life has been a broken glass,
and I have kept the score,
of all my shattered dreams,
and though it seemed,
that I was far too gone,
my brokenness helped me to see,
it's grace I'm standing on.

And chaos in my life,
has been a badge I've worn,
and though I have been torn,
I will not be moved

After a nap on MRT, woke up halfway and rubbed my eyes.
My right eye contact lens came out.
SIAN!

And i refused to get out of the train since
i 'chiong-ed' so hard to get a seat (ok la sounds like makcik)
and i will be late for lesson

In desperation, i put it back...swiftly and professionally
i bet nobody sees that! PRO!
hahaha..

i'm bored


Experiment 4 is a time-killer!
My lab partner told me she spend 3 hours just to tabulate the datas alone.
I thought it was a bit exaggerating. As in maybe she was multitasking or distracted while doing it. Like while plotting data she was youtub-ing, watching tv, drinking coffee,exercising,fb-ing and perhaps applying nail polish simultaneously u know that sort of thing.
Or maybe she was manually calculating the thousands of data without using the formulas in excel.

and i just plotted finish ALL my datas, ya i believe her now.
And i'm gg to START on my lab report with my datas now which i have to hand in tmr.

this song so apt to describe my feelings right now
Give me oil in my lamp,
keep me burning, burning, burning.....

oh my gosh!
I can't believe it.
The person who found my wallet called NTU to return me.

AWWWWWWW....
Thank God man!

got my allowance yesterday and
lost my wallet AGAIN.
so sian & disappointed with myself
that i go back straight away ask my mum to scold me
becoz i felt i really deserve a scolding.
And she really really really
scold with no reservations
until i really pek chek.

OBVIOUSLY reverse psychology doesn't work all the time.

Come holy spirit fall on me now
I need your anointing
Come in your power
I love you holy spirit
You're captivating my soul
And every day i grow to love you more

I'm reaching for your heart
You hold my life in your hand
Drawing me closer to you
I feel your power renew
Nothing compares to this place
Where i can see you face to face
I worship you in spirit and in truth

At a loss for words,
Felt your presence at the altar-call prayer so strongly
It is without doubt..
encouraging,heartwarming and comforting.

One thing that struck me.
Was having my lab in the morning.
Half way through, the lab technician was super furious.
"Who threw the syringes in the bin? whoever it is, You are very inconsiderate because you never spare a thought for the cleaner. Last week the auntie was injured by the syringe and her hand is swollen. Imagine the cleaner is someone whom you know or ur relative, would u not spare a thought for her ? Whoever it is, u better own up now....."

Silence.
Nobody own up.

Repeated 2,3 times.

Lab technician is impatient.
"ok so nobody wants to own up right?
then i shall deduct everybody's marks unless THAT person owns up"

Still no response.

"ok i shall give that person ONE more chance. If he/she owns up now, i will not deduct any marks from anyone. But if still no one owns up, i will then deduct everybody's marks."

Then someone in my lab group says if nobody owns up, he's just going to go up and say that it's him who did that although it's not him so that everybody can go back and since no marks will be deducted as long as someone owns up . Then some people in my group was like "oh yar hor ,why i never think of that. Quite smart." Another commented " wah so brave, sacrifice for all of us". Through all their responses, i was also thinking maybe ya that was the right thing to do to sacrifice for the team although people will sort of 'judge' you (for being SO INCONSIDERATE).

But after shortly , that culprit owns up which is from other lab group. He apologized and the lab technician also did not scold him but just reminded him not to do it again.

Then i realized sometimes in a bid 'to make things easier' or 'speed things up', we tend to use OUR own methods to do things thinking we are the HERO, in this case owning up to something we did not do and it's RIGHT because we SACRIFICE and others will be grateful for doing everyone a favour(including the culprit). But by doing that, the real culprit is deprived of a chance to be a REAL MAN to own up for his own mistake. It must also had been a REAL struggle since he needs so much reassurance from the lab technician before he finally owns up. Guess after owning up, he feels better as well.

And the so-called 'noble' person who didn't do it but wanna own up also just wanna go back home earlier and doesn't want his marks be deducted. So, is the adjective 'noble' used correctly in this case to describe the person?
And deception is involved too, to think i was nearly coaxed into thinking that was a right thing to do , just so everybody can go off earlier.

It just reminded me again ,when in doubt, always refer to the LIFE MANUAL called BIBLE to life's grey areas. It never fails.

ALPHA RETREAT TMR!
GOTTA PACK MY STUFF.....;)

Today went to CITS (computer room) during my 2 hours break to CHECK MY EMAIL before next lesson begin.
It's supposed to be CHECK MY EMAIL ONLY because i knew i needed to study if not i wouldn't have time to do what i shld since weekend got youth alpha retreat.

Before i knew it , it was several tabs opened on my window bar.
Tadah!.. lost in the cyber lala land.

Just as i found 1 website like quite interesting, about to press the links on the website,
my screen went black.
All the computer screens in CITS went black too.
There was a short circuit.
everyone was *#&%&$&#**$)%%!! (not vulgarity definitely, just erm... pekchek)
I sit back stare at the black screen, look at the time that has passed.
Gosh i wasted an hour doing practically NOTHING and i couldn't remb that 'interesting' website's url!

after i'm reminded that i did not spent my time fruitfully for the past one hour,
wah my efficiency in studying increased to an unprecedented level and it was so fruitful for the next remaining 50 minutes.

Thank God man for the short circuit even if it was a coincidence.
It did bring me back to reality from lala-land.
i can't always expect a short circuit each time i couldn't exercise discipline.
But I was super CONVICTED today..

Be focused la!!

If i can't ask for more time a day.. to do the things i'm supposed to do
then i will ask God for increased effectiveness.

If i can't ask for more time a day.. to study
then i will ask God for a more focused mind despite so many distractions.

If i can't ask for more time.. to sleep
I will ask God to give me the discipline to sleep early

If i can't ask for more time a day.. to spend time with my family and friends
then i will ask God for love from my family and friends to not hold it against me.

If i can't ask for more time a day.. to go for parties/outings/shopping/obligations
then i will ask God to grant me wisdom for me to say NO to people when i really dun have much time

All the above seems so important but...i find that i really seldom ask for more time a day to.. read and meditate on God's word.

..because i know i have the time but i dun.


If only i would read your word with the same kind of intensity i would mug for exams man, i tell you ar..... (exclusive of the grumbling part la )

Lord forgive me when i read your word with a 'routinised attitude'.
God, grant me the hunger to read your word by reminding of ur love for me.

BALLOONS! <3

i realized it's been a long time since i put $ inside that mission 'tonglei gong' due in november.
A few thoughts struck my mind immediately.
I dun even have discipline to save up for myself, basically just spend whatever i am given, isn't it more difficult to save up on 'tonglei gong'?
then another thought... wah put $ in 'tongli gong' weekly, will also give church offertory weekly leh.
Here give there give (though u know the reason for giving), really not much left to spend.
So if i really save up for that 'tonglei gong' on a weekly basis, i will feel very 'dui' not saving anything for myself and the contrast will be even more obvious in november. How much potential $ i could have save if i had been more disciplined FOR MYSELF, not just 'tonglei gong'? 'tonglei gong' is more obvious in contrasting that kind of
'dui-ness' coz u dun accumulate offertory and give them at one shot to the church.

So from now on, i have decided to save up money for myself and 'tonglei gong' on a weekly basis.
So actually because of 'tonglei gong' i will in fact become richer. YEAH!

Then i remb i almost forgotten the significance of the 'tonglei gong' alr.
Ya it's for the bro/sis in Khon Kaen who are deprived of an education which i took mine for granted since i complain so often about NTU.
Maybe i should stick a picture of a khon kaen kid looking at me on 'tonglei gong' so that it has the effect of reminding me the significance of the 'gong' and a good reminder that i need to cherish my education.
Not everybody has a chance to study.


another thing that bites,
yah a miser will always remain 'miser'able.

Today saw my sec school fren.
Well my impression of her in sec school, she's like so into those anime and online stuff.
When she told me her CCA is ELDERS, i was like woah.
Firstly woah coz i never hear before.
On second thought woah coz she's doing social work for the elderly.
ELDERLY ELDERLY ELDERLY ELDERLY ELDERLY
so cool a cca JUST FOR THEIR WELFARE.
if i'm not in campus crusade i might just join because it's really meaningful doing social work and building relationship.
Read so much about the need to help weak and poor in bible but never really practised it in practical sense.

hmmmm...think i'm too preoccupied with my own thoughts that's why.
When u start to pray for others or show geniuine concern for others, your own 'problems' seems to shrink in size dramatically. Clinicially Proven many times.

I just wanna say
Thank you abbbba FATHER in heaven ;)

just woke up after a 14 hrs plus of sleep--equivalent to number of hours i clocked in for 2 days of sleep.

But no joke man sleeping with both nose blocked.
Lucky God already pre-emt that when he created us.
he created an alternative,
that i can sleep while breathing through my mouth as well.
but halfway through my sleep , phlegm started to accumulate in my throat.
sian~~!@#@!$#$$
what other ways to breathe?
For that gasp of air, you would have given up everything on earth to survive and any worries u have doesn't matter anymore or just pales in comparison.

To be able to breathe freely is such a blessing man!
just wanna scream :
Thank God i felt super uber refreshed!
Little discomforts/illness/sickness can be a blessing in disguise.
It teaches you or gives you opportunity to rest properly.

I heard you say that no one seems to care 'bout you
It's in your eyes, you think that life's unfair to you
Just give it all you got, my friend
Just give it all you got, it's not the end
Cause you oughta know
There's a reason for these changin' seasons
God only knows how much your heart can bear
So don't you let go
Everybody has their up and down times
Everybody needs to know how much they're loved
My friend
So hold on, it's not the end
As I remember everything you touch
Would turn to gold
You have the secrets
To make your grandest dreams unfold
You are the very best of us all
But the sun that rises still falls
Cause you oughta know
There's a reason for these changin' seasons
God only knows how much your heart can bear
So don't you let go
Everybody has their up and down times
Everybody needs to know how much they're loved
My friend
So hold on, it's not the end
It's just a love song
'Cause everybody needs a friend
I'll be right here for you
It's just a simple prayer
It's from the bottom of my heart
That He'll never let you go
'Cause you oughta know
There's a reason for these changin' seasons
God only knows how much your heart can bear
So don't you let go
Everybody has their up and down times
Everybody needs to know how much they're loved
My friend
So hold on, it's not the end

today was a blast!
didn't know getting married would be SOOOO tiring..
lucky u just need to marry once. Any more times, that's u really ask for it (trouble).

never actually felt close to my sister only until she gets married AWAY today. ironic.
For the past 21 years, this is definitely the day that i know her SO MUCH BETTER.
In terms of her way of doing things, handling stress and her opinions about certain issues.
Hmm, My sis has never been to church for like donkey years? My only memory is when my dad 'force' her to go and she slept through the whole sermon. From then there's like no relationship of church and her. So when today when she give her speech to give thanks in front at the wedding dinner, the last part..' most importantly i wanna thank God for all'. Simple words but it takes courage for her to say it out especially saying that beside her non-christian spouse. I guess it's not easy even for 'seasoned' christians to just thank God in front of non-christians. And i dun mean the casual 'oh my God' or 'thank God' that tom, dick , harry can say without thinking. i think when u mean it, people can feel it too. Holy spirit convicts ;)

unable to sleep one night. turn and tossed
and i flip through the bible and saw this verse
' In vain you rise early
and stay up late,
toiling for food to eat—
for he grants sleep to those he loves. ' Psalm 127:2

Focusing on the last part, i 'bhb-ly' sleep well thru the night because i was so convicted God loves me. ;)
God's love, That's the only thing i can proudly boast of.
Anything more to boast except from GOD, then i'm asking for it (trouble)!

it's been a long time since i 'mass-stalk' people's blogs.
Reading people's blogs, well allow u to understand others better, especially with people whom u dun talk much with?
Realized many links to their blogs seemed to be obsolete, password-protected ,locked or covered in cobwebs.
like out of 10 blogs, almost half cannot access. sian
why so secretive?
err then i realized 'crunch-me' wasn't any better.

Acer is back after 1 month of service (note: keypad)
but i really had my hats off ACER.
Within the same day i got it back,


Argghhh!










coincidentally my lift also has the same problem,somemore it's at the level where i lived, 6th floor.

haha guess I have to explain to my brother-in-law that i didn't purposely spoil the button lift.
Let's hope tmr he can come up smoothly for the gate-crash without electric shock.




well..how long more?
ARRRRGGGGHHHHHHHHHHH